Weekend accomplishments or lack there of…sorry for the long post

I am in my twenty eighth week of pregnancy (my third) and starting to get a little antsy that things are not getting done. I have a HUGE to do list (not to mention belly right now) and I don’t seem to be able to cross much of anything off the list lately. I already feel so far behind and I know that I need to get a lot accomplished before she arrives because after that, things will be even more chaotic then they are now.

Weekend Snapshot
- Went to see Marc Morris Dance Company in Seattle with a good friend. It was a lot of fun. My MIL gave us the tickets since she couldn’t use them. We splurged and had dinner at the Cheesecake Factory after the show. I normally do not eat after 7, but the hubby didn’t get home from an appointment until a little after 6 and with the drive into the city we had to wait until after the show to have dinner. The cheesecake was well worth the wait. We split the oh so yummy Tuxedo Cheesecake. It is one of their best I must say and even worth the bazillion calories that I am sure it is. We split it so that is half the calories right? It was a good night. Made me think, why I don’t go into the city more often. This was a special treat and I never would have gone had the tickets not been given to me. Boy do I miss going to plays, the ballet, cultural events.
- Saturday: Worked out, went to Costco, dropped stuff at Goodwill, came home put the kids to bed, hubby napped, I cleaned and then napped for a little while, cleaned some more, cooked dinner, washed diapers, cleaned a little more and went to bed early. As you can see not very productive.
- Sunday: Went to church (this is a real victory in itself, because it is hard to get the whole family out of the house, on time and for some reason we tend to have someone sick every other week and so we miss every other week,) cleaned out the diaper bag, sanitized the diaper bags (Big A peed her pants at church and then pooped in the fresh pair of training pants once we got home…dare I say more), made lunch, cleaned a little, blogged a bit, cleaned out the freezer, did four loads of laundry, put away clean diapers and kids laundry, cooked dinner with whatever I could find in the house, made a weekly meal plan, played on the computer, (now you have to remember that while I was cleaning, my hubby was napping yet again,) made dinner, cleaned up some of the kitchen (but not all…just too tired), tried to go to sleep early because exhausted (not so successful because hubby was watching TV and I struggled to try to get to sleep with the TV on). Yet, another not so successful day or fun day. Did I mention I took care of a 21 month old and 3 year old all, changed all of the diapers and all of the training pants? I guess that would help if I mentioned that.

Today I am trying to be more productive. I have accomplished quite a lot already, but it is not easy with two kids. It is nap time as I type this post out. I am going to try to clean and organize something while the kids sleep. We will see if that happens. Part of me just wants to lay down for a nap too.

So if you are reading this and have tips for staying on top of the housework please let me know. I would love some easy ways to stay on top of things. I am trying to balance way too much right now any help is greatly appreciated.

Jen D.

My challenge and A Sweet Little Splurge...

So in an effort to try to post more frequently and try to post a little more positive posts than I have been posting I am challenging myself to blog everyday for a 2 weeks. I was going to make it a month, but I am not sure I can do that or a week and that seemed too short so I am going to try for 14 days starting yesterday. Now some of these posts will be pre-written today and tomorrow since I am working and will not have the time to write them Tuesday through Thursday, but others will be written that day and posted.

This would count as my second post.
So those of you who know me personally and are friend of mine on FB know that I bought myself a little present on Thursday. I had been saving my Christmas money and Birthday money for this little thing. I had to wait until our phones were up for renewal with our current contract. They would not let us upgrade any sooner than Thursday, but I am oh so glad that I did. Now I realize that the new version might be out as early as June, but I am still thrilled to have an iphone. I tried in December to get one and due to that silly contract was unable to. I am still on a huge learning curve of figuring out all the bells and whistles, but I am sure once I sit down and have time to play with it I will be up to snuff in no time.

Now for those of you who know me, you know this was a huge splurge for me. I am frugal minded. I try to re-use, reduce and recycle (when possible); after all I have switched to cloth diapering. I am very excited about this little splurge though. I think it is amazing how far technology has come in such a short time. I am old enough to remember getting my first cell phone in college or shortly there after. It was nothing like this new phone. AMAZING! In order to pay for the increase in our bill each month the hubby has agreed to forego cable television. We will be canceling as soon as our current overpaid balance runs out. This will help cover the costs, but it won’t completely cover it, especially since we will be getting some sort of DVD membership to either Netflix or Blockbuster or somewhere with no late fees. It will help though. Plus, I am not much of a TV watcher these days. For one I don’t make the time and number two being pregnant I have little interest for some reason. I am sure that will change once the baby is born, but I would so much rather read a good book or catch up on blogs than watch TV. Now there are shows that I enjoy, but not a lot as of late.



So here is my new toy. I think I am going to have this entry serve as not only a blog post, but I will scrap book it as well. I like getting two things done at once. Oh, I forgot to mention that my hubby got one as well. His birthday is Wednesday, so how could I say no. He has used his a lot more than I have used mine thus far. Unfortunately, he chooses to play with it anytime he is not doing something else...which these days seems to be a lot.

Happy Day!
Jen D.

Feeling Done...

Image taken from the http://greenbabyguide.com/

Do you ever that feeling that you have just had enough? That feeling that you need to be done. I am having that feeling and have been for at least a few weeks. I think I am just in a funk right now during this last trimester. It happened when I was pregnant with little a as well. We will see how long it lasts. So here is my done list.

I am done with…
+ Being pregnant, although this time around I was done before I even found out I was pregnant.
+ potty training since I have been attempting it for almost a year with a few months off here and there.
+ With disappointment
+ With this body of mine
+ With this crazy, chaotic life
+ With not sleeping
+ With trying so hard
+ With my hubby’s health problems
+ With the never ending house cleaning that gets done and then is messed up with in minutes
+ With laundry that is also never ending
+ With pets
+ With just about all of the you know what of this life

The thing is I am not done, not really. I still have to figure a way to be pregnant for at least eleven more weeks, officially ten days longer than that, but I am so hopeful for an early (but not too early c-section.)

At this point in time it is not looking good for the potty training to be over any time soon and since I am the parent that does most of the potty training I think I still have a ways to go. Plus, that is just with Big A, there is still little a to train after that and then this new baby girl a few years later. I think potty training is going to be part of my life a lot longer than it is welcome.

Disappointment is just part of life. You would think I would be used to it by now.

This body has failed me so much in recent years. Unfortunately, it is the only one I have, it is not a great one at that, and statistically it will probably last me at least forty more years. I just wish it worked how it was supposed to. I am ENORMOUS and I still have 12 weeks or so to go. I am swollen even though I workout and drink a lot of water. I can’t blame it all on this pregnancy. I haven’t exactly been happy with my body ever, but especially since my first pregnancy. It failed me in nursing (at least only nursing…I had to supplement) and then it failed me with losing this baby weight. This is probably the thing that I am the most done with, well at least tied with being pregnant and potty training.

Adding a third child to this family is not going to make life any easier, simpler or less chaotic. Somehow, I need to find a way to embrace some of the craziness.

Not sleeping is probably also here to stay since I will have a newborn and my track record for having great sleepers is really poor. My kids usually don’t sleep through the night until well nine and six months. A friend of mine is blessed with easy children. Her children are fabulous sleepers starting right off the bat. She just had her third and she is already sleeping through the night. She sleeps for about seven hours, takes a bottle and then sleeps for another four to six hours. Wow!

Trying so hard is one thing on the list that could probably go. Although, it is a personality trait that has been with me since I can remember. Now please don’t confuse trying so hard with things turning out well. I might try hard at things, but I often am not so successful.

The hubby has back problems. He has had two semi-successful back surgeries, but has still been in chronic pain now for 18 months. This is a really hard thing for anyone to watch their spouse go through, but for someone with two young kids and a third one on the way it is a depressing, devastating reality that life for her is only going to get harder and there is not much she can do about it. My hubby is a good father, but he is limited in what he can do with the pain. It is a financial strain, an emotional strain and a physical strain on us and our marriage. Oh I so wish I was done.

I am so done with our pets. I am trying not to post negative things about them, but our cat Jordan has to be the worst in this area. We tried to give her away to a good home, but she wore out her welcome there with in a week. I don’t know what to do. She is a beautiful cat and sure costs us a lot of money, but she has a sensitive digestive track, is picky about how clean her litter box is and sheds like crazy. I don’t have the time or energy to deal with her or any of the pets right now. It seems like all of the pets and our children are extremely high maintenance.

I wish I was just done with all of you know what to this life, but I am not. I can’t say that I would miss any of it. I am so ready to say goodbye to it and welcome happiness, but there is no end in site. I am also wise enough to know that there will always be stuff going on in my life that is unpleasant. I just have to find a way to suck it up and deal.

Maybe once the sun returns I won’t feel so down. We will see. I guess I better stop blogging and go do some laundry that is piling up or clean some of my house or attend to my kids, wait they are in bed. Oh what a wonderful way to spend a Saturday night. II don’t mean to sound ungrateful for the blessings that I do have in my life. I am just in a funk today. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.

Update on Potty Training and Overwhelmed Feeling…

Well I am still overwhelmed, but I wanted to update the blog with what has been happening lately with the potty training saga.

Big A is wearing cloth training pants and plastic pants during the day and then cloth diapers at night (except on the nights I work, then she wears a disposable). She typically has an accident at least once a day and unfortunately, it is usually a BM accident. She did have two dry days this week at the babysitters and then at home for a few hours before bed. We rewarded her by mommy painting her finger nails one night and her toenails on another day. As I was typing this she came up to me and said. “Mommy I have to go change my pants.” Yep, you guessed it she had another accident. She is usually really good with potty training at the babysitters with potty at least. The BM’s are hit or miss. I almost have to catch her in the act. She actually had to very small BM’s today in the toilet. We praised her a lot for this success, even though it was very small and I am sure there are more BM’s in there. Here is what we are trying now:

Pro-active Potty Training Strategies
-Cloth training and plastic pants all day long
-Praising her when she is successful
-Potty treat when she remembers
-Talking about big girl things she can do when she I potty trained.
-Reminding her about being a big girl and using the toilet

If she has a goes pee in her training pants:
-she is responsible for putting her wet clothes in the washer, getting new cloth training pants and plastic pants on, sitting on the potty and cleaning herself up. (We are trying to make it as uncomfortable and inconvenient as possible for her when she goes in her pants.)
-She has to apologize to us each and every time she goes in her pants.
-She is unable to special things. For example: she can’t go over to a friend’s house and play if she is having accidents. A friend’s mom is not going to want to deal with my spirited little girl having accidents. This is one of the closest to natural consequence for not potty training that I can think of. Another example of this would be she can’t go to preschool unless she is potty trained. This is their rule, not my rule, but if it motivates her in any way that will be great.

If she has a BM accident we clean her up and take care of the mess. She is still responsible for changing her clothes, helping with putting her clothes in the washer, and apologizing for going poop in her pants.

We have tried in the past:
-Toilet Training Sticker chart
-Toilet Training small toy prizes
-Letting her save up for a big toy prizes at the end of the week if she is successful
-Taking toys away for accidents (this was my mom’s idea and unfortunately she didn’t really care that much…no connection between the toy being taken away and going in her pants)
-The doctor told her that she needed to be potty trained
-The majority of her friends are potty trained and she knows that.
-We tried in the beginning to do the one day and three day potty training with no success at all.
-Taking pictures of her on the potty and making a big deal about it
-Have a potty party (didn’t work at all)
-Telling her she cannot go to preschool unless she is potty trained.
-Explaining to her that big girls wear big girl underwear and use the potty ALL the time and that babies wear diapers or pull ups or go in their pants.
-We’ve had her watch us use the potty.
-We’ve even had her younger brother little a use the potty to try to motivate her.

What has worked so far…
-This has worked at the babysitters and there only. There is another little girl almost a full year younger than Big A there and she is potty trained. Big A is very motivated by this little girl Big L cheering her on when she goes in the potty. She is very successful at child care with this; too bad I don’t have a way of duplicating it at home.

I just put Big A down for a nap in her training pants and plastic pants. Oh I hope she wakes up if she is has to pee. She did really well with this on Friday and at the babysitter’s house this week so we will see. I am hopefully, optimistic about it.

If you have a success story that you think may help me please share it; however, if your child potty trained themselves or was easy to potty train please spare me the grief. I am so happy for you, but I have a lot of friends where potty training has been no big deal. I am glad for their luck, but I am not sure I can handle anymore of those stories right now. If you can’t tell from this post or my previous posts I am a little down with the whole potty training struggle. I hope you can understand where I am coming from.

Happy Sunday!
Jen D.

Looroos Diaper Give Away at the Natural Mommie

The Natural Mommie is having a fabulous give away of six cloth diapers from Looroos. Check it out. I have not tried these diapers, but they look fabulous. Amanda gave them a great review in the post, even for overnight. With a third baby on the way my hope is that I am lucky the winner of this give away, but if I am not I would love for them to go to a good home of someone that reads my blog. So if you have little ones in diapers, check out the Natural Mommie and enter for your chance to win.

What Have I Done? I don’t want three kids in diapers…

Yesterday, I signed Big A up for preschool. She is excited about going to school and I think it will be good for everyone, including me.

Today I am not only have second thoughts about preschool, but about having three kids, three and under. I am starting to panic. I am starting to think I won’t be able to handle it.

Big A has had five accidents this morning. I think she is going to put me over the edge. Why can she go all day long at the babysitter’s house without an accident and then when she is home she can’t seem to go in the toilet to save her life. I am scared! I fear she won’t be ready for preschool. I fear that I will have THREE children in diapers. Dear Lord, I am telling you now that I cannot handle three children in diapers. I fear that I am just an inferior mother and Big A not potty training like a normal child is a slap in the face. I fear that this little girl that I am carrying is going to be just like her sister. I know from the depth of my soul that I CANNOT handle another Big A. Seriously! I love her, but she is a challenge. Everything has always been a challenge with her. Just for once I beg that something come easy. I can’t handle it anymore.

I am crying right now as I start to breath heavy. I just don’t know if I can handle this life. I am overwhelmed and so disappointed in how my life has turned out. I so miss my old life (i.e., before children). I would do almost anything besides give them back to have my old body back. That is an entirely different post. There are so many things about motherhood that I didn’t expect, desire or want. I am sure I am sounding selfish right now, but I think anyone who in four years has spent the last 40 months pregnant or nursing would have a complaint or two. I am not a good pregnant person and my oldest is not making this pregnancy any easier. My husband isn’t either. This third pregnancy was a surprise and I am excited about the little girl to come this summer, but definitely overwhelmed by the stresses of life without adding a new baby to the mix.

I am feeling lonely and just sad right now. I feel like I am already as big as a house and I am only on the verge of the six month mark. My feet are already so swollen. I still have four month to go, well maybe three and half since a woman is pregnant 40 weeks typically and after Friday I have 16 more week unless I deliver early which I probably will since I am having a c-section and I don’t want the baby to be born on little a’s birthday. I am hoping they will deliver me at 38 weeks. We will see. I am so unlucky they will probably make me wait until after little a’s birthday and go the full 40 weeks in the middle of summer and hot weather.

Don’t mind me. I am just a venting, tired, overwhelmed, pregnant mama who is disappointed with her life and has been for at least the past four years. Please excuse me, now I need to go change my three year old’s poopy cloth training pants as I ponder the questions that keeps me awake at night… “What have I done?” The famous “Why me?” question might also cross my mind, as well as… “When will this pass? When will I be happy again?” “Will I ever feel like myself again?” Great questions to consider as a I plug my nose and grit my teeth and change the three year olds dirty, poopy bum.

Random Post Before 6 a.m.

(Image from http://www.seattlepi.com/dayart/20080322/621daily17.jpg)

Here is our Easter menu for this year. I am actually looking forward to Easter. This will be the first year of hiding plastic eggs for the kiddos. Although, I won't really be able to enjoy sugar on that day. I have that horrible glucose test the following day. I just pray that I do not have gestational diabetes.

I need to charge my camera so I can start taking pictures again. The things that slip away when you are pregnant, again. It is early here, before 6 am. I thought that the garage door might not be closed and ran down to check. Thank the Good Lord it was closed.

I am going to try to start posting a minimum of three posts a week. I figure that should be doable, but I have been so bad with my blog and updating it that I am not sure it will survive. We will see. Happy Monday Everybody!

Easter Menu
Appetizers
Stuffed Mushrooms (pending recipe from friend)
Cheese tray with breads and cheeses
Fruit and Veggies

Main Course
Ham

Side Dishes
Artichokes
Twice Bake Potatoes
Citrus Salad

Dessert
Strawberries with Homemade cake and whipped cream