Friday, July 10, 2009

I am still here...still pregnant...

Yes, I am still pregnant. I am sorry for not updating my blog in almost a month. I was so good for a while. I have been struggling with the last weeks of pregnancy and it is difficult to think of something blog worthy to write.
Here are some of the things that I have been working on or thinking about:(sorry the pictures are not the was the lighting.)

Nursing/Handmade Nursing Cover Up
I made a nursing cover up out some fabulous new fabric and was actually able to make a few burp clothes to go with it. I am a little nervous about this because with my other two pregnancies I was not able to make enough milk to sustain my kids, I have always had to supplement. I am hoping and praying this time I will make enough milk and even have a tea to try that my friend swears by. We will see. I want to be realistically optimistic. I was devastated the with Big A when I couldn’t solely nurse and spend seven months with a crazy rigorous feeding schedule of nursing, feeding bottle of pumped milk from previous pumping session, feeding a few ounces of formula (yes three bottles) and then pumping again after the feeding. It was too much to do with my second so I would just nurse and supplement little a with formula. I know breast milk is best, but when you have tried everything to make it work and it is not, thank God there is such thing as formula. I would prefer for my body to work as it is supposed to, but it has failed me so many times…I must be realistic. The positives: at least there is formula, the baby can thrive off of it and it is readily available. The negatives: formula is not as good as breast milk for the baby, formula doesn’t help shed the unwanted pregnancy pounds, the cost of formula is very high compared to free breast milk, it is not as convenient when you have to wash bottles, prep formula, make sure you have it with you everywhere, formula stains, formula smells, formula diapers stink more and have to be rinsed before washing (if you are using cloth). Anyways, there is the list. I am hopeful, but at the same time know that I have struggled with this in the past…I am not sure what would change with the third pregnancy, but maybe…do you think?

Two Weeks and Counting Down
Although, I have been trying to stay distracted and busy so I don’t think about how much I want this little girl out of me, I am still counting down. There are things that I want to finish before she gets here, but I would be so happy if she came right now. My c-section is scheduled for two weeks from today. I hope I don’t make it that long, but I am not the one in charge.
I decided to sew my own maternity gown, but I am a little stuck on it now. I have not followed a pattern in two decades so it is a little difficult to know what to do with things like interfacing and what not. It is all cut out, but I don’t have the interfacing and I am not sure if it’s a must or not. We will see. I’ll post pictures when I am done, that is assuming I finish it.

I have been trying to balance things in my life. I don’t have a lot of balance right now. I struggle with it and that is one reason I am excited to be going back to work sixty percent, it helps create some sort of balance and order in my crazy life. Right now balance is particularly difficult to achieve because of the crazy hormones, waiting for this baby to decide if she is coming early or not, it is summer and things are a little out of routine due to that, both the hubby and I are home (we both teach) for the summer (this is good in many ways and also creates some problems in other ways), my three year old is still toilet training resistant (honestly, I am tempted to just put her back in disposable diapers and forget it…I have never met a more stubborn child in my life or a more difficult task and I am a teacher), my son will be two in a few weeks (need I remind you about the terrible twos), and my life and body are out of my control. I don’t know if you can achieve balance without some measure of control. It is an interesting thought to ponder.

Well I have a few ideas for posts in the next few days. I hope everyone enjoys a wonderful weekend.

Jen D.

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