Feeling Done...

Image taken from the http://greenbabyguide.com/

Do you ever that feeling that you have just had enough? That feeling that you need to be done. I am having that feeling and have been for at least a few weeks. I think I am just in a funk right now during this last trimester. It happened when I was pregnant with little a as well. We will see how long it lasts. So here is my done list.

I am done with…
+ Being pregnant, although this time around I was done before I even found out I was pregnant.
+ potty training since I have been attempting it for almost a year with a few months off here and there.
+ With disappointment
+ With this body of mine
+ With this crazy, chaotic life
+ With not sleeping
+ With trying so hard
+ With my hubby’s health problems
+ With the never ending house cleaning that gets done and then is messed up with in minutes
+ With laundry that is also never ending
+ With pets
+ With just about all of the you know what of this life

The thing is I am not done, not really. I still have to figure a way to be pregnant for at least eleven more weeks, officially ten days longer than that, but I am so hopeful for an early (but not too early c-section.)

At this point in time it is not looking good for the potty training to be over any time soon and since I am the parent that does most of the potty training I think I still have a ways to go. Plus, that is just with Big A, there is still little a to train after that and then this new baby girl a few years later. I think potty training is going to be part of my life a lot longer than it is welcome.

Disappointment is just part of life. You would think I would be used to it by now.

This body has failed me so much in recent years. Unfortunately, it is the only one I have, it is not a great one at that, and statistically it will probably last me at least forty more years. I just wish it worked how it was supposed to. I am ENORMOUS and I still have 12 weeks or so to go. I am swollen even though I workout and drink a lot of water. I can’t blame it all on this pregnancy. I haven’t exactly been happy with my body ever, but especially since my first pregnancy. It failed me in nursing (at least only nursing…I had to supplement) and then it failed me with losing this baby weight. This is probably the thing that I am the most done with, well at least tied with being pregnant and potty training.

Adding a third child to this family is not going to make life any easier, simpler or less chaotic. Somehow, I need to find a way to embrace some of the craziness.

Not sleeping is probably also here to stay since I will have a newborn and my track record for having great sleepers is really poor. My kids usually don’t sleep through the night until well nine and six months. A friend of mine is blessed with easy children. Her children are fabulous sleepers starting right off the bat. She just had her third and she is already sleeping through the night. She sleeps for about seven hours, takes a bottle and then sleeps for another four to six hours. Wow!

Trying so hard is one thing on the list that could probably go. Although, it is a personality trait that has been with me since I can remember. Now please don’t confuse trying so hard with things turning out well. I might try hard at things, but I often am not so successful.

The hubby has back problems. He has had two semi-successful back surgeries, but has still been in chronic pain now for 18 months. This is a really hard thing for anyone to watch their spouse go through, but for someone with two young kids and a third one on the way it is a depressing, devastating reality that life for her is only going to get harder and there is not much she can do about it. My hubby is a good father, but he is limited in what he can do with the pain. It is a financial strain, an emotional strain and a physical strain on us and our marriage. Oh I so wish I was done.

I am so done with our pets. I am trying not to post negative things about them, but our cat Jordan has to be the worst in this area. We tried to give her away to a good home, but she wore out her welcome there with in a week. I don’t know what to do. She is a beautiful cat and sure costs us a lot of money, but she has a sensitive digestive track, is picky about how clean her litter box is and sheds like crazy. I don’t have the time or energy to deal with her or any of the pets right now. It seems like all of the pets and our children are extremely high maintenance.

I wish I was just done with all of you know what to this life, but I am not. I can’t say that I would miss any of it. I am so ready to say goodbye to it and welcome happiness, but there is no end in site. I am also wise enough to know that there will always be stuff going on in my life that is unpleasant. I just have to find a way to suck it up and deal.

Maybe once the sun returns I won’t feel so down. We will see. I guess I better stop blogging and go do some laundry that is piling up or clean some of my house or attend to my kids, wait they are in bed. Oh what a wonderful way to spend a Saturday night. II don’t mean to sound ungrateful for the blessings that I do have in my life. I am just in a funk today. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.

Update on Potty Training and Overwhelmed Feeling…

Well I am still overwhelmed, but I wanted to update the blog with what has been happening lately with the potty training saga.

Big A is wearing cloth training pants and plastic pants during the day and then cloth diapers at night (except on the nights I work, then she wears a disposable). She typically has an accident at least once a day and unfortunately, it is usually a BM accident. She did have two dry days this week at the babysitters and then at home for a few hours before bed. We rewarded her by mommy painting her finger nails one night and her toenails on another day. As I was typing this she came up to me and said. “Mommy I have to go change my pants.” Yep, you guessed it she had another accident. She is usually really good with potty training at the babysitters with potty at least. The BM’s are hit or miss. I almost have to catch her in the act. She actually had to very small BM’s today in the toilet. We praised her a lot for this success, even though it was very small and I am sure there are more BM’s in there. Here is what we are trying now:

Pro-active Potty Training Strategies
-Cloth training and plastic pants all day long
-Praising her when she is successful
-Potty treat when she remembers
-Talking about big girl things she can do when she I potty trained.
-Reminding her about being a big girl and using the toilet

If she has a goes pee in her training pants:
-she is responsible for putting her wet clothes in the washer, getting new cloth training pants and plastic pants on, sitting on the potty and cleaning herself up. (We are trying to make it as uncomfortable and inconvenient as possible for her when she goes in her pants.)
-She has to apologize to us each and every time she goes in her pants.
-She is unable to special things. For example: she can’t go over to a friend’s house and play if she is having accidents. A friend’s mom is not going to want to deal with my spirited little girl having accidents. This is one of the closest to natural consequence for not potty training that I can think of. Another example of this would be she can’t go to preschool unless she is potty trained. This is their rule, not my rule, but if it motivates her in any way that will be great.

If she has a BM accident we clean her up and take care of the mess. She is still responsible for changing her clothes, helping with putting her clothes in the washer, and apologizing for going poop in her pants.

We have tried in the past:
-Toilet Training Sticker chart
-Toilet Training small toy prizes
-Letting her save up for a big toy prizes at the end of the week if she is successful
-Taking toys away for accidents (this was my mom’s idea and unfortunately she didn’t really care that much…no connection between the toy being taken away and going in her pants)
-The doctor told her that she needed to be potty trained
-The majority of her friends are potty trained and she knows that.
-We tried in the beginning to do the one day and three day potty training with no success at all.
-Taking pictures of her on the potty and making a big deal about it
-Have a potty party (didn’t work at all)
-Telling her she cannot go to preschool unless she is potty trained.
-Explaining to her that big girls wear big girl underwear and use the potty ALL the time and that babies wear diapers or pull ups or go in their pants.
-We’ve had her watch us use the potty.
-We’ve even had her younger brother little a use the potty to try to motivate her.

What has worked so far…
-This has worked at the babysitters and there only. There is another little girl almost a full year younger than Big A there and she is potty trained. Big A is very motivated by this little girl Big L cheering her on when she goes in the potty. She is very successful at child care with this; too bad I don’t have a way of duplicating it at home.

I just put Big A down for a nap in her training pants and plastic pants. Oh I hope she wakes up if she is has to pee. She did really well with this on Friday and at the babysitter’s house this week so we will see. I am hopefully, optimistic about it.

If you have a success story that you think may help me please share it; however, if your child potty trained themselves or was easy to potty train please spare me the grief. I am so happy for you, but I have a lot of friends where potty training has been no big deal. I am glad for their luck, but I am not sure I can handle anymore of those stories right now. If you can’t tell from this post or my previous posts I am a little down with the whole potty training struggle. I hope you can understand where I am coming from.

Happy Sunday!
Jen D.

Looroos Diaper Give Away at the Natural Mommie

The Natural Mommie is having a fabulous give away of six cloth diapers from Looroos. Check it out. I have not tried these diapers, but they look fabulous. Amanda gave them a great review in the post, even for overnight. With a third baby on the way my hope is that I am lucky the winner of this give away, but if I am not I would love for them to go to a good home of someone that reads my blog. So if you have little ones in diapers, check out the Natural Mommie and enter for your chance to win.

What Have I Done? I don’t want three kids in diapers…

Yesterday, I signed Big A up for preschool. She is excited about going to school and I think it will be good for everyone, including me.

Today I am not only have second thoughts about preschool, but about having three kids, three and under. I am starting to panic. I am starting to think I won’t be able to handle it.

Big A has had five accidents this morning. I think she is going to put me over the edge. Why can she go all day long at the babysitter’s house without an accident and then when she is home she can’t seem to go in the toilet to save her life. I am scared! I fear she won’t be ready for preschool. I fear that I will have THREE children in diapers. Dear Lord, I am telling you now that I cannot handle three children in diapers. I fear that I am just an inferior mother and Big A not potty training like a normal child is a slap in the face. I fear that this little girl that I am carrying is going to be just like her sister. I know from the depth of my soul that I CANNOT handle another Big A. Seriously! I love her, but she is a challenge. Everything has always been a challenge with her. Just for once I beg that something come easy. I can’t handle it anymore.

I am crying right now as I start to breath heavy. I just don’t know if I can handle this life. I am overwhelmed and so disappointed in how my life has turned out. I so miss my old life (i.e., before children). I would do almost anything besides give them back to have my old body back. That is an entirely different post. There are so many things about motherhood that I didn’t expect, desire or want. I am sure I am sounding selfish right now, but I think anyone who in four years has spent the last 40 months pregnant or nursing would have a complaint or two. I am not a good pregnant person and my oldest is not making this pregnancy any easier. My husband isn’t either. This third pregnancy was a surprise and I am excited about the little girl to come this summer, but definitely overwhelmed by the stresses of life without adding a new baby to the mix.

I am feeling lonely and just sad right now. I feel like I am already as big as a house and I am only on the verge of the six month mark. My feet are already so swollen. I still have four month to go, well maybe three and half since a woman is pregnant 40 weeks typically and after Friday I have 16 more week unless I deliver early which I probably will since I am having a c-section and I don’t want the baby to be born on little a’s birthday. I am hoping they will deliver me at 38 weeks. We will see. I am so unlucky they will probably make me wait until after little a’s birthday and go the full 40 weeks in the middle of summer and hot weather.

Don’t mind me. I am just a venting, tired, overwhelmed, pregnant mama who is disappointed with her life and has been for at least the past four years. Please excuse me, now I need to go change my three year old’s poopy cloth training pants as I ponder the questions that keeps me awake at night… “What have I done?” The famous “Why me?” question might also cross my mind, as well as… “When will this pass? When will I be happy again?” “Will I ever feel like myself again?” Great questions to consider as a I plug my nose and grit my teeth and change the three year olds dirty, poopy bum.

Random Post Before 6 a.m.

(Image from http://www.seattlepi.com/dayart/20080322/621daily17.jpg)

Here is our Easter menu for this year. I am actually looking forward to Easter. This will be the first year of hiding plastic eggs for the kiddos. Although, I won't really be able to enjoy sugar on that day. I have that horrible glucose test the following day. I just pray that I do not have gestational diabetes.

I need to charge my camera so I can start taking pictures again. The things that slip away when you are pregnant, again. It is early here, before 6 am. I thought that the garage door might not be closed and ran down to check. Thank the Good Lord it was closed.

I am going to try to start posting a minimum of three posts a week. I figure that should be doable, but I have been so bad with my blog and updating it that I am not sure it will survive. We will see. Happy Monday Everybody!

Easter Menu
Appetizers
Stuffed Mushrooms (pending recipe from friend)
Cheese tray with breads and cheeses
Fruit and Veggies

Main Course
Ham

Side Dishes
Artichokes
Twice Bake Potatoes
Citrus Salad

Dessert
Strawberries with Homemade cake and whipped cream

Ask Design Mom

Design Mom is having a contest worth $300 yes, three hundred dollars. Go here to check it out. It looks like a lot of fun, not only is she answering questions, but giving great spring clothes for your kids.

The Third Baby Davis

What is life without surprises? We were surprised to find out the day after Thanksgiving that we are expecting our third baby in less than four years. Obvious this little one was not planned, but definitely wanted. Here is one of the first ultrasound pictures of baby #3. We are excited to find out if the baby is a girl or a boy. I am feeling pretty good. I am a little over 19 weeks along. Pregnancy doesn't really agree with me, so I am already looking forward to being done. :) We are just hoping and praying for a healthy, happy, easy baby.